God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Friday, December 13, 2013
Pinching Pennies
I just want to say that I am not a penny pincher. As a matter of fact I envy people who can keep their money in their pockets. I am from the school of my father. His philosophy is to spend like no tomorrow, that's for a later post. Anyways I have a new job and a new lease on life. My previous job I actually worked for my inlaws. That's for another post as well. Now I am working from home and making the most money I have every made. I am really seeing the fruits of all my hard work from the past 7 years.
So why the post pinching pennies?
This is about me asking what's owed to my daughter. I can tell you that daycare is not cheap. Karate is not cheap. Paying for a house, bills, and food is not cheap. Most of us know this. I just cant understand the people that don't. When I got my divorce I wanted a quick clean cut. I got some resistance from my ex. The main thing she didn't want was to pay child support. Her excuses was you're making so much more than me! I am going to school! Ok Ok But she was only looking to help herself. Being the pushover I put in the divorce decree that she was to start paying child support 6 months after she finishes her school. This was enough time for her to get a job and get on her feet. My lawyer was telling me that I was being to generous. I also agreed that she was only to pay $200 per month! This doesn't even pay for 2 weeks of daycare!!!
So here I am 7 months after she was to start paying and still no child support. PINCHING PENNIES? I don't think she is! I contemplate should I make a big deal out of it. Well MY DAUGHTER IS A BIG DEAL. I just don't know how to push Jezebel without having some push back. I don't want Angel to see us arguing. After all I want the best for Angel but I don't want her emotionally scarred from seeing me squeeze her mom for $200 a month. It really isn't about the money but the unwillingness of her mom to meet her obligations. I know I can approach Jezebel without Angel being around but I also know once Jezebel gets squeezed for the money she will be in a foul mood for a long time. Lets just say at least for the next 13 years.
So why the post pinching pennies?
This is about me asking what's owed to my daughter. I can tell you that daycare is not cheap. Karate is not cheap. Paying for a house, bills, and food is not cheap. Most of us know this. I just cant understand the people that don't. When I got my divorce I wanted a quick clean cut. I got some resistance from my ex. The main thing she didn't want was to pay child support. Her excuses was you're making so much more than me! I am going to school! Ok Ok But she was only looking to help herself. Being the pushover I put in the divorce decree that she was to start paying child support 6 months after she finishes her school. This was enough time for her to get a job and get on her feet. My lawyer was telling me that I was being to generous. I also agreed that she was only to pay $200 per month! This doesn't even pay for 2 weeks of daycare!!!
So here I am 7 months after she was to start paying and still no child support. PINCHING PENNIES? I don't think she is! I contemplate should I make a big deal out of it. Well MY DAUGHTER IS A BIG DEAL. I just don't know how to push Jezebel without having some push back. I don't want Angel to see us arguing. After all I want the best for Angel but I don't want her emotionally scarred from seeing me squeeze her mom for $200 a month. It really isn't about the money but the unwillingness of her mom to meet her obligations. I know I can approach Jezebel without Angel being around but I also know once Jezebel gets squeezed for the money she will be in a foul mood for a long time. Lets just say at least for the next 13 years.
Half and Half
I realize a long time ago that my Angel had her own little personality. Its the little things that she says and the way that she says it that makes her HER! She sometimes says Dadddddy while rolling her tongue. Its the cutest dam thing! I used to be at awe at these things and for the most part I still awe at her innocence and loving nature, but I have also realized that She Is HALF AND HALF!.
What do I mean? Well if you know her mother you would know exactly what I mean. I see that she can be selfish and mean at times.
I recently took my daughter, niece, and nephew to a local carnival. I have mentioned Opal to be 2 years older than Angel. I had also said that there was no rivalry between the two girls, well Angel might have started something that she may not want. She ignited a flame in Opal that will probably burn for who knows how long. We had a wonderful time. The girls rode the rides together and played in the park that the carnival was on. We were all at the swings. Opal was swinging and Angel was taking a break when all of a sudden a woman walked up to me and Angel. She said do you want these two tickets? Of course Angel jumped at the opportunity. I thought oh no somebody is not going to go on a ride. Every ride took at least 2 tickets which meant that only one girl would be able to go on a ride. I thought for a minute and said to Angel maybe you should let Opal ride since we had already been to the carnival once and Opal hadn't ridden as many rides as Angel and I. Well Angel had no part of that. She wanted to ride even though it meant she would be doing it by herself. Opal said maybe no one should ride which in this case she might have been the wisest person, but instead I said the lady gave the tickets to Angel so she will ride. My bad decision and Angel's selfish way might have sparked Angels most daunting rivalry of her life. I say this but just last night they were playing like sisters again after the initial resistance of Opal. I'm not saying that I am never selfish but I can honestly say that Angel gets this trait from Jezabel.
Angel can be downright mean at times as well! When she doesn't get her way she says Momma lets me I like her better. I know she loves me and is just trying to get her way but it still hurts. I sometimes ask her do I look good after getting ready to go out and she says NO you don't look good! This attitude and mean remarks are not from the half that I gave her. I am not saying all of her goodness is from me but I know that I was never like that and I will never have those tendencies. On the other hand Angels other Half (Jezebel) can be downright mean. I laugh when Jezebel says she has not one mean bone in her body right after talking down on one of my family members.
I can only hope that Angel uses her feistiness for her advantage while keeping a kind heart. This doesn't seem like it would work together but I believe that her being half and half makes an all new creation.
What do I mean? Well if you know her mother you would know exactly what I mean. I see that she can be selfish and mean at times.
I recently took my daughter, niece, and nephew to a local carnival. I have mentioned Opal to be 2 years older than Angel. I had also said that there was no rivalry between the two girls, well Angel might have started something that she may not want. She ignited a flame in Opal that will probably burn for who knows how long. We had a wonderful time. The girls rode the rides together and played in the park that the carnival was on. We were all at the swings. Opal was swinging and Angel was taking a break when all of a sudden a woman walked up to me and Angel. She said do you want these two tickets? Of course Angel jumped at the opportunity. I thought oh no somebody is not going to go on a ride. Every ride took at least 2 tickets which meant that only one girl would be able to go on a ride. I thought for a minute and said to Angel maybe you should let Opal ride since we had already been to the carnival once and Opal hadn't ridden as many rides as Angel and I. Well Angel had no part of that. She wanted to ride even though it meant she would be doing it by herself. Opal said maybe no one should ride which in this case she might have been the wisest person, but instead I said the lady gave the tickets to Angel so she will ride. My bad decision and Angel's selfish way might have sparked Angels most daunting rivalry of her life. I say this but just last night they were playing like sisters again after the initial resistance of Opal. I'm not saying that I am never selfish but I can honestly say that Angel gets this trait from Jezabel.
Angel can be downright mean at times as well! When she doesn't get her way she says Momma lets me I like her better. I know she loves me and is just trying to get her way but it still hurts. I sometimes ask her do I look good after getting ready to go out and she says NO you don't look good! This attitude and mean remarks are not from the half that I gave her. I am not saying all of her goodness is from me but I know that I was never like that and I will never have those tendencies. On the other hand Angels other Half (Jezebel) can be downright mean. I laugh when Jezebel says she has not one mean bone in her body right after talking down on one of my family members.
I can only hope that Angel uses her feistiness for her advantage while keeping a kind heart. This doesn't seem like it would work together but I believe that her being half and half makes an all new creation.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
To Date or not To Date?
Ok so when I started this blog I made it clear that its not about my ex or my divorce but only about me being the imperfect single dad. I want to look on my situation and put down my thoughts about how I am raising my daughter. I have been divorced for over a year and been separated for more than 2 years. I have been so focused on my daughter that I really haven't put my full effort in dating and keeping a girlfriend. I will say that I have a huge empty space in my life. I know that my daughter also has an empty space, not that her mom isn't great with her but I don't think Angel sees enough of her. I think that Angel needs a steady woman in her life more than me. With that being said I do to. I know that I am a one woman man and wish God would send me the right woman already, but I know that I cant rush him. I just have to be patient.
I have been actively looking but maybe I still need to shake my past animosities to allow the right person to get close to me. I also want to be careful who I bring around my daughter. I also think of all the possibilities of my future relationships and how each might effect my Angel. I want the best for her and I also want to be able to date women to find what's best. I think there is some conflict with this situation. I am not sure what kind of dynamics would be best for Angel, me, and who I might date. I am also aware that I might choose wrong again. After all I had chosen wrong before. Not that I regret my past marriage, but I don't want to make the same bad decisions. I also don't ever want to be hurt the way I was.
Enough about my feelings, what I need to think about is how do I know who to date and when, where, and how I will go about dating. I am definitely not a clubber or a regular at the bar. I am working from home now so I am even more limited with my opportunities for social interactions. I have thought about the online thing but have found out that it is a part time job. I also don't trust most people on the internet. Most of my friends are married or have girlfriends so I don't have much prospects with them.
I have met a few girls since being divorced but it seems like even though I think I am ready I probably am not. I have had great opportunities and not been able to take advantage. Ms. Lawyer, Ms. Cyber, Dr. Dutchy, J-Lo, Selena, and Ms. Terrorism just to name them. Some more relevant than others but still opportunities.
So the question is to date or not to date. Hmmm
Maybe I will go and listen to
NOVEMBER RAIN
Again.
I have been actively looking but maybe I still need to shake my past animosities to allow the right person to get close to me. I also want to be careful who I bring around my daughter. I also think of all the possibilities of my future relationships and how each might effect my Angel. I want the best for her and I also want to be able to date women to find what's best. I think there is some conflict with this situation. I am not sure what kind of dynamics would be best for Angel, me, and who I might date. I am also aware that I might choose wrong again. After all I had chosen wrong before. Not that I regret my past marriage, but I don't want to make the same bad decisions. I also don't ever want to be hurt the way I was.
Enough about my feelings, what I need to think about is how do I know who to date and when, where, and how I will go about dating. I am definitely not a clubber or a regular at the bar. I am working from home now so I am even more limited with my opportunities for social interactions. I have thought about the online thing but have found out that it is a part time job. I also don't trust most people on the internet. Most of my friends are married or have girlfriends so I don't have much prospects with them.
I have met a few girls since being divorced but it seems like even though I think I am ready I probably am not. I have had great opportunities and not been able to take advantage. Ms. Lawyer, Ms. Cyber, Dr. Dutchy, J-Lo, Selena, and Ms. Terrorism just to name them. Some more relevant than others but still opportunities.
So the question is to date or not to date. Hmmm
Maybe I will go and listen to
NOVEMBER RAIN
Again.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Surrogate Moms
What is this "surrogate" "moms"? Well lets just say I was inspired to write this post today from one of my daughter's "surrogate mom". Angel doesn't even know it but she has many surrogate moms. At least I take advice from women who tell me good advice on how to raise my wonderful daughter. I realized that when my friend J-Lo told me what to do today regarding what to get Angel for Christmas. J-Lo and I are lets just say "passing" friends. I've known J-Lo for about 2 years. She has a daughter that's a year older than Angel so I listen to her because I know she knows her stuff. Plus I don't mind being bossed by her its fun. LOL So I will show Angel the toys-r-us thing tonight and let her show me what she likes. I'm sure half the store will be on the list!!! Angel owes J-Lo big time. The other night I was at a Christmas Parade and I saw Ronda Rousey. Lets just say Ive seen her throw down once or twice. I know what you are saying why would you take her advice, well because she's more girly than me even though I wouldn't want to fight her. I had Angel dressed with the typical jeans, sweater, jacket and moose hat to cover her ears. Ronda took Angels hat off and said why doesn't she have a baret to keep her bangs out of her face. I didn't know what to say but I knew that was a girly thing. It reminded me of Selena one of my "friends". She would tell me all the time put a bow in Angels hair. She said all girls should have a bow. So far I haven't listened but I will make a effort so that Angel is more girly. I pray for Angel's sake that she grows up to be girly enough. I love her so much but see my faults when it comes to this part of her upbringing. I love all the women that mean well and tell me good advice for her sake. All I can do is my best and hope that she doesn't ever feel like I tried to raise her as a tom boy.
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