First Lesson

I was terrified for the first 3 months that I was a single dad.  I would wake up thinking how could I be a good parent to my Angel?  I was mostly terrified for her and the indirect pain she might encounter from my imperfect ways.  I after all am the Imperfect DAD.  I worried if she was getting enough love, food, and even if I dressed her ok.  I didn't want the ladies at daycare saying she must be living with her Imperfect DAD!  Look how she's dressed or look at her hair.  I didn't want her to feel social discomfort for my inabilities at parenting a little girl.  Of course all at the same time I was dealing with a marriage that was no longer.  With all the turmoil going on in the background I found out that she was more resilient than even me.  Maybe because she didn't know any better.  That's what I am betting on when I say my first lesson is to not show any weakness.  I have learned that if I say and act like everything is allright then she will go about her merry way.  My job as an Imperfect DAD is to protect her from my own pain.  She doesn't need to know the pain and my perception of suffering going on in my life.  I believe keeping her shielded brings me joy in a round about way.  Let me say there is nothing more fulfilling in my life right now to see my daughter happy everyday.  Friends and Family say to me she is one happy kid and that makes me happy.